When I started writing this I had resentment in my heart. Completing this my heart is filled with love and nothing more

It has to be said – that writing your million thoughts into coherent, expressive words is one of the most calming yet difficult things to do.  I sit in one place with my busy thoughts and think when next am I going to write something – I say today, even now and I never do it and all time ever does is pass, you look back at how much time has gone by and how the days flew by pretty fast.

And then oh, you just never know but here I am writing my next thing – hoping you get to read it.

What if I go back in time and remember clearly when I started working at BIL? Would I say overwhelming or Fulfilling? Maybe or maybe not, as time passed I have forgotten most of the emotions I felt at the time I resumed. Some of the frequent thoughts I had back in time were We are going to be trying a lot of dumb things, we’ll keep what works and what doesn’t, and we change. And oh my, we sure did!

Coming from a culture that goes by first name for all employees and to one everyone uses Mr and MRS – I find that particularly interesting. Some even use it mockingly – because I can tell just by the scene and tone. It’s so hilarious. I tried to adapt to the new culture but I wasn’t hard on myself. As gentle as I could be with myself.

Some embarrassing moments for me were when I mispronounced or repeated the wrong words more than once.  Gosh, you know how you go back in time to replay your embarrassing moments and you are like – Can I redo this presentation, I’m honestly sleeker than this.

I watched all recorded presentations and fast-forwarded the part where I was presenting because it is cringey most times hearing my own recorded mistakes. Sometimes I watch carefully and pick out things I should have done differently then beat myself up for it. Of course, I shouldn’t have done that to myself.

My favourite co-workers are Segun, Ayomide, Josh, Brawny, and Kingsley – I figured there’s a Kingsley for me in every company I work.

There is Segun the funniest person at work – I probably have a thing for funny people and there is Kenny who probably thinks he’s funny. I mean I think he is but not always.

Oh, and Kenny is the one who speaks big grammar that I hardly understand, in every meeting this guy goes – “ It’s a whole lot, there are too many dynamics to it” and I just roll my eyes every time. I like that he is carefree and doesn’t particularly care about what you think of him – because that is the only explanation as to why he shares the most ridiculous things on work channels.

And Josh is my guy – every day. He’s the only person I sort of know outside BIL.

I would have enjoyed working with Ivan if he had written copies and contents as he promised – and provided them timely. He made most of my tasks difficult in the beginning.  He’s also among the work critics – It’s hard not to find him usually on your nerves. Edwin knows this

You see, Edwin, he probably thought oh “She’s here to steal my work” or some sort of thought. We got along pretty well in the beginning but fell off, which I do not know why. He came off as a snub to me in the end and I like to mind my business and drink water.  

There’s a Kingsley for me everywhere I work – I like that Kingsley understands me, he’s like that class captain who understands his classmates, what they need and what they don’t.  

I was about to write Ayomide before Kingsley, but then my thoughts drifted – It takes a good amount of focus to not let your million thoughts collide.  

So yeah, Ayomide is one of my go-to persons at BIL, he speaks my humour language – at first, he said I’m a nice person. I didn’t think that mattered and then he laughed at my dry jokes and I was like cool – I will talk to him more – not like I was talking to any other person at BIL. The part I like most is that I don’t have to be formal with him the way I’m formal with most of the others. He’s creative and maybe that’s why I related to him more.  This one shoves all his contributions in the face of people any chance he gets  

Testimony makes me feel like I should have used MR for him – because why does it always feel awkward talking to him? Does this guy even know how to laugh? He’s so uptight that I wonder how I would survive if we ever had more tasks together. Lately, he’s relaxed and he has been laughing - I was really surprised. And he’s also cracking jokes. Uhm interesting I said to myself.

I do not know why Oghosa talks like a British or maybe it’s just me. Probably she used to drink cold water before joining meetings. Oghosa is like that big aunty that lives abroad and you hardly talk to – You guys talk only when it is necessary and I mean very necessary.

And if Nike was here I would have gone to her DM and called her “Lord of my 27th” – oh she knows, she knows what I like.

The day I found out Ola has a PhD – How? From where to where? She’s one of the people who made me realize “ Good morning, I hope you are having a great week” – Sort of, isn’t always necessary. She ignored most of it in the beginning then she started relaxing her muscles I would say, when we had to collaborate on some tasks.  I’m not sure what she thinks of me – maybe proud? I guess we’ll never know.

Will Brawny ever find out that I once called him a “ Corporate Baddie”? I think Brawny and Afo will manage 1-2 friends at BIL because they stepped on many colleagues and they ended up not being on good terms with half of the project team guys. I didn’t know how hilarious Brawny was as a person till I left BIL and that’s the thing, till you talk to someone before you know why they are the way they are, right?

And I think Seun, Elisha, Idris, Oyinda, Bunmi, and Afo are cool people.  At some point, I have had to collaborate with the majority of BIL employees.

My role has taken a lot of forms over time, creative, leading, challenging, overwhelming, demanding, and chilling at other times.

My favourite times are salary days and the part where I received some BUSD – Cries in lack of bonus and I partially like NLAs – it’s like an unspoken word for “Show off”.

Memorable ones are the two months I won the Employee of the Month award. Truly, the Best moment  

I haven’t written in a while and my mind keeps wandering, keeps wandering, and When I started writing this I had resentment in my heart. Completing this my heart is filled with love and nothing more. I might not have enjoyed every day, obviously and some days were particularly not all yummy but I have loved my time at BIL  

My life is truly beautiful. And what’s one of my dreams? What do I picture at the end of my day? And this is simple, I want people to recognize that I’m good at what I do and that I have something to say. I want people to value my point of view and maybe then I will have the space to work on things that are just for me.